Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in greenteaesther's LiveJournal:

Monday, January 10th, 2005
10:16 pm	thinking things happen for a reason right? hurting from the outside moving in...confused endlessly about nothing...shatters of the air moving towards me...thinking about you...ok nevermind lost my thought... God moves in mysterious ways...he is so good to me but sometimes i dont appreicate it as much... i am such a selfish person...i just need to burst and say what i have to say...but sometimes i just cant why? who knows...people expect so much more out of me but i give all i have...what can i do...i need more or you...i want more of you...erasing the memories that are crossing my mind...feeling so...i dont know...i just need to get through whatever i am going through...sometimes it sucks not to feel you but i need to get past that...sometimes i feel so alone...sometimes i feel so great...sometimes i feel angry...sometimes i feel peace...what more can i give to get more of you...can someone answer that? never mind you dont care...dont understand me... Current Mood: drained (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
12:15 am	the stillness the sense that carefully hides in my soul bursts out like living water feeling the breeze that brings coldness to today watching the calmness of the water and knowing that it's me hearing the waterfall that crashes upon the rocks and knowing that it's my soul looking at the hills of tomorrow and knowing that it's my thoughts of today.... Current Mood: good (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
12:18 pm	runaway everyone read tuesdays with Morrie! written by Mitch Albom this is such a great book... you will think differently about life and love after you read this book... dont take life for granted... Current Mood: calm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
10:51 pm	love can this be love? strumming the sounds in my heart mounting the pieces together needing your love and your love only wanting to be where you were and are then i close me eyes and realize what you have done for me...i heard this from somewhere? screaming out at the top of my lungs releasing everything out of me cant keep this to myself trusting every step i take wanting more of what you have what is that you have though? piercing the skin of my fearless eyes cant get you out of my mind hoping for the hope your heart is what i am after... your love is what i crave... Current Mood: dorky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 8th, 2004
9:33 pm	sitting in art apperciation thinking of the mind that sinks in the ground eyelids that see the picture but so tired to react my hands that write on and on things that make not sense but i keep on going and going making the time for everything and the light...on my face turning the pages that are common sense carleton e. watkins... talking my ear off going to blue...orange...is it turning green? ...some one told me that my tongue is powerful...so teach me the power of it...chanting in the crowd of the mountains so high...come on lets climb that mountain that floats up in the sky...the room in london, in the winter...my life is a gallory...people coming in looking around and then walking out...either taking something from it or leaving learning nothing... painting the paint that lays on my skin the canvas so white sitting on its rigid tippy toes my eyes wide open trying not to blink because if i take that breath of air and blink my world would be gone out of my mind...listening to the words that will change my life forever so i will just sit and listen...dwelling on the mist of the fog God is so great! something so amazing happened today God twirled a leaf right in front of me i love fall Current Mood: awake (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 1st, 2004
1:36 pm	Go-Packs! for a $1.49 piercing through the inside of the non-existing mind... i-zoning the polaroid of the person i miss the most... why is there mist on my face? covering every eyelash that stands...images in my soul that captures the moment that i love the most...why cant you come back? smiling at every smile...making it count for something...whats that something? how should i know...i am just sitting here pondering these thoughts that seem to never leave my mind...beyond basic sunrises my heart goes out to you... Current Mood: calm (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
1:29 am	once again! i ate it...and busted my shin...yeah Current Mood: tired (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 30th, 2004
12:23 pm	prophetic it's duct tape to my soul...cant really figure it out... moving to one corner than the other... where am i suppose to go... left...right...up...down...volume 17 number 49 ....i am not afraid anymore. do i really care what people think of me.. they dont even really know me so how can they judge me from the outside. this ponders over my head like the clouds that brings showering rainbows down...how can i judge people from the outside. i dont even know them. so please dont judge me from the outside because never again will i judge anyone from the outside. can the slices of my life be the fruit in your mouth? can the thoughts that past me by be the thought that you already had? can the moon that i see every night be the same moon you draw with your hands? can the walk that i have taken be the u-turn in your drive? can the faces i see everyday be the random pages you flip through in your mind? yeah prophetic... Current Mood: grateful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 29th, 2004
11:10 am	sugar free red bull i have been sitting here for about 10 min. and still i have nothing to say...i guess i will what until i have something to say...ok here i go...i realized that school is a waste of my time even though it is important in my life but God is more important right. i figured out why my head is hurting so much...its because i been thinking so much about things at the same time. i want to be a God chaser...i want to start devoting my whole life...i mean my WHOLE life to God...i dont know how but He will let me know how...even if it means giving up everything i would totally go for that...i have the best freinds ever thanks a lot God...Thanks for everyone you put in my life even the people i just met once i will see them again eventually...faith that goes the distance... Current Mood: grateful (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
7:08 pm	this is a picture of my friends they are cool nevermind (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 1st, 2004
10:31 pm	Leaking out yeah... have you ever felt lost? well God is teaching me something... seriously if God wasnt in my life i would be the most miserable person ever. It kind of sucks. Im so grateful for Him even in most crappiest disturbing time in my life. There is always something in the way. Man i want everyone that doesnt know the Lord just look and He is right there. i just want the lost to realize that there isnt anything in the world that could compare to God. How compassionate, caring, loving, merciful...yeah...He is Great. you search and you search... STOP searching and open the door! Do you know that God crys for you everyday you are away from Him. Man i didnt realize that until now. it hurts me because it hurts God. I just cant sit around anymore just thinking something is going to happen if i dont do anything about it. if anyone is with me start praying for your friends that dont know God, for the people you happen to meet, just for the lost. Even pray for your friends to have consistency with God thats very important too. I find peace when im confused. Please pray for me. i have to admit i went for a month not opening the bible...just open it even though you dont want to because you will find great things. man it's like reading your best friends Journal. Current Mood: okay (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
10:16 pm	shake a blue bottle everything happens for a reason i believe it my watch broke and now im whatchless ...yeah... everything does happen for a reason to the relationships we make with people to the people we end up bumping into to the people we stumble over to the things we do to the things we dont do to the mistakes we make to the...do you really want to know... to the things we dont really appreciate to the love that i found and then we learn man...am i done am i inducible i was devastated for a while but He lifted me up i am a porcupine He is my life boat Current Mood: mellow (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
10:38 pm	spit me a spit ball Going with the flow my skull hurts i wont go down with this pondering coincidence whispering chatters escaping the infamous space in my head im sitting here thinking about the best times i had and im just laughing at myself...yeah... flipping the pages of the dic-tion-ar-y finding words that mean nothing then i found what i was looking for as i drive...drive...drive...im watching the seasons pass me by counting the stars up in heaven oh...no...i lost count...starting over again facing my fears straight in the face... Current Mood: refreshed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
1:22 pm	i wrote a journal entry and then it disappeared yeah. i went all out an wrote what was on my mind i couldnt stop and then it was gone. so dont want to write it again becasue it wouldnt be the same. so i am not. sorry maybe tomorrow. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 18th, 2004
11:48 pm	chaos Starting a new page. praise the wonders of your love. audiovox spinning in my head. laughter bringing me happiness in my eyes. white daisy that will be the day. crumbs of bread smellling so sweet. looking in the future but dont look too far. God has everything in his hands. i mean everything. tasting bitter. angle what? huh? what? yeah! walking slowly my way. looking but not staring. feet on the table SD. right in front looking again. hair in my face. being who i am. what more do you want? dont be mad at me. electronic anti-shock protection. Scratching out what is worthless stepping up. lost where i was. lost in the mist of the fog that blinds what i see in fornt of me. thirsty for more of what you have. lost in your eyes. lost in the mind. mazing my way to the hot blazing sun that awakens me. beautiful in you. people around me looking but not looking at what God is seeing. walking the narrow strip of silky ribbon. confused. wake me up from the long restless sleep that ponders me. save me. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
6:33 pm	hi well this is new to me. wow greenteaesther wow my name is pretty neat. so i am sitting here infront of my friends computer and i have nothing to say that tells a lot about me. Current Mood: thankful (2 Comments |Comment on this)